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8.30.2005
It would be nice to say it doesn't matter how men are represented in the media but that would make me a liar. A lot of men don't care that there are guys prancing around in underwear for Calvin Klein ads, men who are too skinny, look like heroin addicts, too buff, not quite buff, whatever it is. But a lot of men do care, and some don't even realize it.
There's a lot of truth in saying that women are less shallow when it comes to men's appearance. I mean you see smokin' hot ladies with some of the ugliest guys in the world. And not all of those guys are famous or rich. Sometimes we ladies just really love a damn good personality. Shocking, I know. But when it comes down to it, if the emotions are strong, looks soften. This is true for people who were physically attractive from the start, too. Since I'm a woman, I can't say if that is true for the fellas. But I know I speak for my gender in general by saying men don't have to be models in order for us to find them physically attractive.
Many things make a person attractive. It really does come down to the eye of the beholder. But in the case of media, which is always striving to group things into one big generalization, we get types that are "good" and types that are "bad."
The funny thing about men in TV, billboards, and movies is they come in all shapes and sizes. Some are clearly just plain unattractive but the characters can make an ugly man gorgeous. It doesn't matter if he's got the most pocked-marked face and biggest mouth you have ever seen. If he's a rock star (yes, I believe rock stars are acting), he's hot. If he's a brooding detective with a receding hairline and a heart of gold, he's just plain sexy. In sitcoms he can be a sexist pig, overbearing, painfully sarcastic, overweight and lazy but he's still got that hot chick by his side spouting off sass by day and worshipping his body at night.
Let's just gloss over sitcoms though, they represent some weird alternate reality some guy thought up in a wet dream.
I don't think most men focus on the bodies of other men on TV and in movies. They focus on what these men have: their job title, their women, their general social status, their cars, their home. But the thing is, generally on TV and in film, guys who have the best stuff are at least mildly attractive. They aren't overweight, they aren't pock-marked, they're tall, and they're charming even if it's in that asshole/arrogant sort of way. So men, I think, pick up on this and think, to get all this stuff and enjoy it I have to be :
Sauve
Smart
Tall
Somewhat hairy but not too much
Masculine
Tan
Charming
Sarcastic
Rich
and so on
So, what I think happens is, men -- in addition to having weird hero complexes -- striving to be the best, ultimately feel they should alter their bodies, even if their bed buddies remind them how sexy they are, as is. And no, a lot of men don't change their appearance. No, a lot of them don't feel a need to bother. But that doesn't mean they don't wonder how their lives would be if they had that set of washboard abs, that thick rich haur, that rugged jawline. That doesn't mean they don't feel any pressure to improve themselves physically.
So guys, if I'm somehow correct in my aforementioned guesstimates and observations, let me know. Because I'm not a guy and I guessed just about everything. Also let me know how it is for you, if it's not too personal. I admit I haven't put as much thought into this as the sexy bodies- women post because I don't have an inside view. Your commentary could prove to be quite helpful.
Posted at 2:55:50 pm by TheKaren
 | | | Deanna
September 1, 2005 09:50 AM PDT
Makes sense to me. At least I know that I don't really date for looks. My ex was not all that attractive and now he gets mistaken for a girl, but he did have a heart of gold until he decided to be an asshole. I agree with you wholeheartedly. | |
| | | acturi
September 2, 2005 09:17 PM PDT
I think that to some extent men are subjected to those influences, but it is a bit different. For one thing, I do think that there's a somewhat wider range of male prototypes out there. The other, though, is that somehow men get their "look like this" mixed with "but only if you do, anyway."
The end result is that they may feel like they look far less then ideal, but don't feel any real urge to actively work towards that goal. Most guys are inclined to shrug their shoulders and do what they would have been doing anyway. Which probably has something to do with the theory that men with lots of money, success, and nice cars will be attracitve regardless of what they look like.
The end result being that we don't get eating disorders so much as workaholics and total fixation of economic goals. Really, not any better. | |
| | | R
September 2, 2005 11:16 PM PDT
I think I just have the "and so on" :/ | |
| | | Alyred
September 9, 2005 08:53 AM PDT
Good post, Acturi refined it better. We men tend to desire the "model looks", but aren't really ones to go out of our way because there's typically that easy way out -- financial success.
I think most men look at it this way: "I may not have the washboard abs or the stunning good looks, but I'm not hideous and if I can make boatloads of cash, I'll get a pretty girl that wants financial support, and will come to love me in time." For some, the "love" part may be optional. Not my way of thinking, but I can see the attractiveness of it sometimes. | |
| | | fetal feast
September 12, 2005 05:03 PM PDT
Women are more attracted to confidence and power than looks. Guys, in general, realize this. | |
| | | Karen
September 13, 2005 07:40 AM PDT
See, I hate power. Confidence is good but that whole power thing bugs me because people with power like to control. And I do not like it when people try to control me. | |
| | | fetal feast
September 14, 2005 04:39 PM PDT
I don't like power hungry people myself, but that's just because I can't relate to that mentality at all. | |
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