"I hate women who complain about being fat when they're like a size five. Anything under a size five isn't a woman. It's a boy with breasts." -Laurell K. Hamilton writing as Anita Blake, Obsidian Butterfly

People wonder why I get pissed, embarrassed or uncomfortable about hearing how small I am. Well here it is: women don't like me a lot of the time simply because I am tiny. Yes, that is their problem. But I don't have to enjoy being outcast for my size. I don't have to enjoy getting the evil eye from women at other tables in restaurants, towels on the beach, etc. I can't ignore the evil eye - I've tried. I see it and I can say, "Oh they're just jealous." But they aren't jealous. They're angry. They're angry at what they think I represent. They think I represent a number of things they hate, and even though I'm rarely any of those things, the anger is still there because these people never bother getting to know me.

I'm not a size five; sometimes I can't even wear a size three without a lot of extra space. Being called a boy with breasts ticks me the fuck off. I work to maintain a weight that isn't sickly looking. People always comment how hard it is to lose weight. Well, for some of us it's hard to gain and even harder to keep on what you've gained. Don't "Boohoo" me. I get teased just as much as overweight people, if not more. I get just as insecure, and just as uncomfortable. I know a lot of people get angry at thin people for picking on overweight people. Why the fuck doesn't anyone get angry about overweight people picking on thin people? What, because I'm an "ideal" weight I'm supposed to feel good about it? You can treat me like shit and it's ok, because I look the way you wish you looked? It's not as brutal for me? Is that it?

I don't think so. I've said it before and I'll say it again, beauty isn't size. You can be beautiful and not look anything even close to rail thin and you can be beauiful rail thin, too. It's all how you carry yourself, how you see yourself; it's your confidence in who you are, and your lack of concern for what the others around you look like; it's the absence of jealousy. Jealous, angry women aren't beautiful, no matter what they look like. And people who condemn others based solely on their looks are just plain ugly.

For the record, I do not look like a boy with breasts.